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And in the midst of this action, he, of course, flirts with and beds spectacularly beautiful women. One of the scenes with a woman is really hot. She is one of the most beautiful and voluptuous women I have ever seen. So much that even as our man is still flirting with her, I find myself tracing my hand along my hard cock, hoping Jeff won't notice in the dark theater. As the couple on-screen start kissing, I become aware that Jeff is stroking himself through his shorts even more blatantly than I am. Then, he pulls down his waistband, and out pops his willie. I almost whisper "what the fuck are you doing?" but I stifle it because I'm so worked up myself. Maybe I want to do the same. I mutter "oh what the fuck," and shift my shorts to the side so I can get my dick out too. Here we are, openly masturbating in an empty theater, as the sexiest woman and man alive make out on the screen, her ample breasts squeezed tight against him - and threatening to make their own spectacular escape. “You’re a six-foot hunk of steel,” said Carson, almost laughing, unconvinced. “Why do you need to trust anyone at all? What are you afraid of?” “Listen,” Armisen said, turning to face him. “When you’re my age and you’ve been in this game long enough, you have a lot to lose. I didn’t grow up like you kids--Grindr and all that shit. I never got to have that experience. I fooled around a little in college, but most guys like me were scared to take it any further. We went to business school, made a lot of money as fast as possible. We dated girls, got hitched young…” “Wait, wait, wait,” Carson said, sitting up. “You’re married?” Armisen set down his cigar. “I didn’t tell you that?” “No,” Carson said, certain he would remember. He looked down at Armisen’s hand. No ring. “Is that a problem?” Carson considered it. He knew adultery was wrong, but technically he wasn’t the adulterer here. And he wasn’t really in a position to judge--after all, he was the one who cheated on his boyfriend two.
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